8.4. What to say to children about HIV and AIDS

While you are the best judge of what to say when and how much your child can understand, here is a guide to talking to children about HIV and AIDS:
* What to say to children ages 5 to 7
- Children under 5 struggle to understand the difference between real and imaginary, but children 5 to 7 begin to separate the two.
- When faced with a topic they do not know about or have not experienced, they may get fearful (afraid).
- They have many fears and the best way to help your child is to ask him or her to talk about the fears.
- Don't be afraid to say you are not sure about an answer but you will find out.
- These children may not be ready for all the details, but a simple explanation is important.
Example of what to say to a 5-7 year old
AIDS is a sickness caused by a germ called a virus. The virus is carried in some people's blood. You can't get AIDS from touching someone or being around a person with AIDS like you can catch a cold from a friend. You can't get AIDS from being in the same school as someone with AIDS. You can't get it from pets, flowers, mosquitoes, toilet seats, glasses or hugs. You may have heard that some children have AIDS. Some children may have been born with it because their mothers had it. If you ever have questions or are afraid of anything else, please ask me. You are healthy, and I am going to help you stay healthy by teaching you to make wise choices.
* What to say to children ages 8 to 10
- Between ages 8 and 10, children fear change. When they are younger they fear monsters and other imaginary characters. Now they are more likely to be afraid that a real person might hurt them.
- They begin to understand cause and effect. For example, climbing in a tree might result in an injury.
- Most children 8 to 10 know death comes from an injury, illness or accident.
- Even though they understand more they may still be scared. Parents need to talk to their children about their fears and feelings.
- Hardly any child 8 to 10 has not heard about AIDS. The media may introduce AIDS but a basic discussion about sex may be needed first.
- It is important to make time to talk with children at this age. This is the age values are learned. If you wait until high school, it is often too late.
- Good information taught in a safe environment such as the family is the best protection you can give your children as they go out into the world.
- Tell them you love them and want them to share their thoughts and feelings with you.
Example of what to say to an 8-10 year old
AIDS is a sickness you can get from a certain virus. AIDS stands for Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome. That is a fancy way of saying the army of cells that fight sicknesses is not working. The virus destroys the cells needed to defend a person from illness, so the person gets very sick. When people find out this virus is in their bodies, they are 'HIV positive'. Eventually, the virus will turn into the full disease, called AIDS. People are worried about AIDS because there is no cure for it. You cannot get an injection to prevent it as you can for measles. You can get HIV from the blood of an infected person (such as through the birth of a baby or cuts and open sores), by sharing a needle for shooting drugs and from sexual intercourse. You cannot get HIV from wee, mosquitoes or pets. You also can't get it from hugging, eating from the same plate or drinking from the same glass as a person who is HIV positive or being in school with a child that is infected with HIV. When people have sex, they can get HIV if they don't use a condom.
* What to say to children ages 11 to 14
- This age group varies in maturity. You are the best judge of how much to say about sexuality and AIDS.
- Do not avoid the topic because you have already talked about it once or because you gave your child a book to read.
- Pre-teens and teens need to hear your messages often. Most teenagers have very little fear. They have entered the age where they usually believe 'It will never happen to me'.
Example of what to say to an 11-14 year old
AIDS stands for Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome. AIDS cripples the body's normal ability to fight invading germs and infections. AIDS refers to a whole set of infections that can't occur if the immune cells of the body are OK. The Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) is the virus that causes AIDS, and it destroys these disease-fighting cells. A lot of other viruses and germs then can attack someone who has HIV. There is no vaccine or cure. AIDS is fatal. You can get HIV by being involved in high-risk behaviors such as having sex with an infected person. The virus is carried in semen and vaginal fluids. These fluids come out during sex and are passed to the other person. You cannot destroy the virus by washing after sex. You can wear a condom during sex. However, condoms have been shown to be about 98 percent effective in preventing HIV. The only sure way to reduce your chance of getting AIDS is to avoid having sex ' abstaining. You also can get HIV by sharing needles for shooting drugs because it's carried in the blood left in the needles. Newborn babies can get the virus from their moms. It is rare to get it from blood transfusions because blood is now screened for the virus. You can't get HIV from being in casual contact with an infected person, hugging, sitting next to an infected person, using plates or glasses of an infected person, drinking from a water fountain, being coughed on, or swimming or wrestling with an infected person.
* What to say to children ages 15 to 18
- Parents and adults often worry about teenagers having sex.
- It is important to explain that anyone can be infected with HIV, not only homosexuals (gays and lesbians).
- Teenagers may be under pressure to have sex because of things they see or read in the media. They also are influenced by their school friends, boyfriends and girlfriends and their own hormones or curiosity.
- One of the best prevention tools is your open and honest communication.
- For more information about how to speak to your teenager about HIV and AIDS call the LoveLife Thetha Junction on 0800 121 90
Example of what to say to an older teen
The best way to avoid getting HIV is to avoid sex. I prefer that you have no sex before marriage because you would be safest if you did not have sex until you found the person you plan to marry and you are confident of his or her past. I want you to enjoy sex in a loving relationship, and I do not want you to take chances that can expose you to HIV or an unwanted pregnancy. When you care about someone, you may feel a lot of pressure to do what he or she wants you to do. But think about it ' if someone really cares, would that person want you to risk your future? Or, is that person only interested in their own needs? It is hard to say no, but it is harder to deal with pregnancy or disease. One problem with sex at an early age is that you don't often end up marrying this person you said yes to. The more partners you are exposed to early, the more likely you are to contract a sexually transmitted disease (STD) such as HIV. Remember, you are not just having sex with one person but with all the people that person ever had sex with. The best thing to do right now is to abstain (avoid having sex) .If you know someone well enough to have sex, you should be able to talk about HIV. If someone is unwilling to talk, you should not have sex. If you do decide to have sex, you must use condoms. You are getting older, but you are not old enough to have all the answers. I hope you will be able to talk to me if you have questions. I will always love you no matter what, and I want you to make healthy decisions now so your future will be healthy too.


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