3.5. Can my partner and I test together?

* It is a good idea for couples to go together for HIV testing and counselling.
* If you are planning to get married or have children or even if you are already married, you owe it to yourself, your partner and your children to know each other's HIV status.
* Even if you know your own HIV status, you cannot take for granted that your partner's status is the same.
* If you are afraid to bring up the subject of counselling and testing with your partner, try to:
- Remind your partner that your children's future depends on it.
Any couple considering having a baby should both be tested for HIV so that they can avoid transmitting HIV to the child during birth. If you already have children, you owe it to your family to remain healthy so you can take care of them.
- Focus on the positive things about knowing each other's status.
Let your partner know that if you find out early that you are HIV positive, you can make lifestyle changes that allow you to live a long life - through healthy eating, exercise and monitoring your HIV by making well informed treatment choices. If you find out that you are HIV negative, you can make sure you stay negative. Whatever the result - HIV positive or negative - knowing your status, and knowing it early, is the right choice.
- Focus on the future
Many couples don't want to even talk about testing because they think it will lead to arguments about sexual loyalty and past unfaithful acts. Start the conversation by telling your partner that you don't want to discuss each other's history but you want to test because anyone who has sex even once could have HIV.
- Remind your partner that just because you are negative, doesn't mean he/she is also negative and the other way round. It is very common for one partner to be HIV negative and the other to be HIV positive.


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